Monday, January 10, 2011

A long time coming..

This blog has been in my head now for a few weeks and I am just now taking time to put it down into words.

As many of you know I had emergency back surgery a few days before Christmas. Whatever could have gone wrong did.... I should have been out of the hospital a day after surgery but three day's after surgery I headed on down to the rehab floor for four days of rehab ... you see my new "normal" is to learn to leave with numb legs, ankles and feet. Also, as fine as it is I can't feel my ass. When will I get feeling back, maybe 6 months to a year. So hey walking with a walker at 29 is cool right? I am trying to look at it that I am not in a wheelchair at lest right?!

When going to Target last week for the first time ever I got to ride in those little motorized carts. I was so looking forward to this and learned quickly that it SUCKS to shop with one of those. It's impossible to go look at clothes b/c the cart does not fit. Every time you back up it BEEPS LOUD and everyone stops and looks at you.... EMBARRASSING! If more then one person is down an aisle forget about going down! Also if they are stocking the selves no way you can go down...

This whole experience has shown me a lot...
  • It is all about how you look at things. Chose to look at the bad or good it's all in your outlook. A positive attitude goes a LONG ways. As my mom always says "someone has it a lose worse then you" and she is right. Before surgery someone has it a lot worse then me and still someone has it a lot worse then me. Look at what you have not what you don't have and be blessed for the simple things in life like walking, driving and going up stairs on your own.
  • I have the best people in my life that have helped out! My mom is still up here to take care of me so I can live at home and not in a nursing home. This has turned not only my life upside down but also my roommates life upside down and I am thankful for all of her help and support. Also but not last the boyfriend has been more then amazing with all of this. He has made me smile though all the tears and pushes me to work harder. He has stood by my side every step of the way and for that I am thankful.
  • I learned that I am a lot stronger of a person then what I ever thought I was. With that means trusting people. From going down the stairs in a stair chair b/c I could not walk out of my house, from being lifted from bed to bed by a blanket (yea it's kinda scary!), to standing on feet that feel like they are burning under you, and when someone says they got you - they do. All of the needles, and hoses whenever I went to the hospital I hoped that it would never have to be me when it is you it sucks but you can get through it with a lot of work and trust.
  • Also, showering and washing your hair everyday is not needed. :)
Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, comments, text, phone calls and emails. My
life has changed, it will only get better from here. This is a sweet picture of me shopping at Target with my walker hanging out of the cart b/c it did not fit well. I almost took a ladies eye out...